Updated October 2026
The first smartphone has arrived, or your child has been asking for one for a while. It is exciting, and it raises questions. How much screen time is sensible? Which apps should your child use? And how do you make sure your child can chat safely without you hovering over every message?
Good phone rules for kids help. Not by banning as much as possible, but by agreeing on rules together that fit your child’s age and independence.
In this guide you will find the phone rules that make a good foundation for any family, what you can agree on at each age, and how to respond when something goes wrong online. There is also a practical family phone plan you can fill in with your child.
Why make phone rules together?
As a parent it is tempting to simply set the rules. But it often works better to involve your child. When children understand why a rule matters, they can take responsibility for it themselves, especially at the moments when you are not looking.
Three things make the difference:
Keep it simple. Five clear rules everyone remembers work better than twenty that are forgotten after a week.
Make rules concrete. “The phone goes in the kitchen at 8:30” is clearer than “Don’t spend too long on your phone.”
Let the rules grow with your child. What works for an eight-year-old may not suit an eleven-year-old. Go over the rules together roughly every six months.
The goal is not to rule out every online risk. It is to help your child learn to use a phone sensibly and to come to you when something happens.
What do governments and experts advise about phones and social media?
There is no single worldwide age for a first phone, and the UK has no official one yet. But the government now gives parents firmer guidance, and some of it has become law. This is where things stand as of October 2026:
Own smartphone: no official age yet. New government guidance on screen use for 5 to 16-year-olds is due in autumn 2026 and may say when a child should get a first smartphone.
Social media such as TikTok, Instagram and Snapchat: 13 is the legal minimum today. The government has decided that social media companies may no longer serve under-16s, expected from spring 2027. Messaging services to keep in touch with family and friends stay allowed.
Screen time for under-fives: official advice since March 2026 is no screens under 2 except shared, interactive moments, and no more than one hour a day from 2 to 5.
Age checks: since July 2025 the Online Safety Act requires sites and apps with pornography or content about self-harm, suicide or eating disorders to check ages and keep children out.
Phones have also left school. In England, the Department for Education’s guidance on mobile phones in schools has been statutory since June 2026: from September 2026, schools are expected to be phone-free by default for the whole school day, and Ofsted checks each school’s policy. Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland set their own school rules.
Some parents go further. The parent campaign Smartphone Free Childhood asks families to delay a smartphone until 14 and social media until 16. For comparison: in the Netherlands, government guidance from June 2025 advises a first smartphone at 11 or 12 and social media from 15, and in September 2026 the European Commission proposed EU-wide limits (no social media under 13, an account of your own from 15), so far only a proposal.
The rules for schools and platforms are law, but none of this is a legal obligation for families. As a parent, you decide what fits your child and your situation. But guidance like this is a useful starting point, for example when your child says that everyone in the class already has a phone or social media.
Elsewhere: in Ireland, primary schools must ban phones during the school day and secondary schools must restrict them, and young people need their parents’ consent for most online services until 16. In the United States, the Surgeon General warned in 2023 that social media cannot yet be considered safe enough for children and teenagers.
Eight basic phone rules for kids
Whatever your child’s age, some rules are useful in almost every family. And they are not only for children: it helps when parents follow them too.
1. The phone sleeps outside the bedroom. Agree on one place where everyone charges their phone in the evening, such as the kitchen or living room. That way notifications don’t disturb anyone’s sleep.
2. No phones at the table. Mealtimes are for each other. That goes for mum and dad too.
3. New apps and contacts are talked about first. Your child asks before installing a new app, joining a new group chat or adding someone they don’t know in person.
4. Don’t share anything you wouldn’t want everyone to see. Messages, photos and videos can be saved, forwarded or screenshotted. Talk about what is and isn’t OK to share.
5. Personal details stay private. Your child does not share their address, school details or live location with people they only know online.
6. Respect other people’s privacy. Don’t forward someone else’s photos, videos or private messages without their permission.
7. Speak up when something doesn’t feel right. A nasty message, a stranger asking odd questions or a chat that gets out of hand: your child doesn’t have to deal with it alone.
8. Telling the truth never gets you punished. This may be the most important rule of all. If your child is afraid you will take the phone away straight away, they are more likely to keep problems to themselves. Make it clear that you will look at the situation together first.
Phone rules by age
Not every child is ready for the same freedom at the same age. Use the rules below as a starting point and adjust them to your child’s development.
Ages 6 to 8: discovering the digital world together
For young children, the phone often still belongs to a parent or is a shared device. It is mostly about simple communication, such as calling grandma and grandpa or sending a voice message to family.
Your child uses the phone somewhere you are nearby, such as the living room.
You decide which apps are available. If your child wants to try something new, you talk about it first.
Contact is limited to trusted people your child also knows in real life.
You agree on a set time or a clear length of time, for example after school.
If your child sees something strange, scary or confusing on the screen, they come to you straight away.
At this age it is mostly about discovering things together. You don’t need to explain everything about online safety yet, but you can already practise privacy, communicating kindly and asking for help.
Ages 8 to 10: their first own messages
Typing messages, sending photos and video calling become more and more fun. Your child may want to do more on their own, while your guidance is still important.
You approve new contacts.
You talk about which information and photos your child does and doesn’t share.
There is a clear rule about daily screen time and when the phone is put away.
Other people’s photos and videos are not simply forwarded.
If your child gets a mean, strange or uncomfortable message and doesn’t know how to respond, they show it to you first.
Use everyday situations to explain why certain rules exist. That way your child learns not only what is and isn’t allowed, but also how to make sensible choices on their own.
Ages 10 to 12: group chats and peer pressure
Around this age, many children end up in class chats and group chats. That is fun, but it can also create pressure. Children don’t want to miss anything, are afraid of being left out and sometimes misread messages.
Your child talks to you before joining a new group.
In a group chat, your child doesn’t write anything they wouldn’t dare say out loud in class.
If a group turns unpleasant or mean, your child may leave it. You help if needed.
Agree on an evening time after which no more messages are read or sent.
Live location is only shared when there is a clear reason and you have agreed on it together.
Purchases in apps and games only happen with permission.
Also talk about the fact that you don’t have to reply to every message right away. Being offline for a while doesn’t mean letting your friends down.
From 12: more freedom, with clear limits
As children get older, they need more independence. Your guidance changes gradually: you check less and talk more about what your child experiences online.
Your child gets more and more responsibility for their own contacts. New situations and doubts can always be talked about.
The rule that the phone stays outside the bedroom at night can simply stay in place.
Your child knows what to do about online bullying, unwanted photos or contact that crosses a line.
Decide together when social media is appropriate. In the UK, 13 is the minimum today, and as of October 2026 the government plans to keep under-16s off social media from 2027.
Review the rules every six months. If things go well and your child takes responsibility, more freedom can follow.
More independence does not mean you no longer have a role as a parent. It mainly means your child keeps getting better at making their own choices, and knows they can come to you when they need to.
Read our guide too: WhatsApp for kids: the new children’s account, the alternatives and what suits your child
What do you do when something goes wrong online?
Even with good phone rules for kids, things can happen. Your child might be bullied in a group chat, receive an unwanted photo or be pressured into doing something. At that moment it matters more that your child dares to ask for help than that they followed every rule exactly.
Online bullying in a chat or group chat
Help your child stay calm and not hit back in anger.
Take screenshots of the relevant messages so you have a record of what happened.
Block the person involved and leave the group if that is sensible and possible.
Talk together about what is going on and whether the school or another responsible adult needs to be involved.
Your child receives an unwanted photo or video
Explain that you never pass on an upsetting or inappropriate photo, not even to show others what happened.
Don’t forward the image.
Talk with your child about what happened and keep only the evidence you need to report the situation safely.
Report the account or the content to the app if that is appropriate.
Someone is blackmailing your child with a photo
In sextortion or other online blackmail, someone threatens, for example, to share a photo unless your child pays or sends more images. This can leave your child feeling deeply ashamed or frightened.
Don’t pay, and don’t send any more photos or videos.
Don’t delete the conversation straight away. Keep messages and other relevant details as evidence.
Only block the person once you have recorded what you need, and follow the advice of a support organisation or the police.
Get help. Children in the UK can call Childline free and confidentially on 0800 1111, and in many European countries 116 111 reaches the national child helpline. If a nude image of someone under 18 has been shared, Take It Down can help get it removed from participating platforms, without the image ever leaving your device.
Above all, keep repeating: “Whatever happens, you can tell me. We’ll find a solution together.” That message helps make sure fear or shame doesn’t stop your child from looking for help.
Make a family phone plan together
A phone plan makes the rules concrete. You can fill it in together and put it on the fridge, or keep it somewhere everyone can easily find it.
Our family phone plan
This is what we agree on together:
In the evening, the phone goes to ______ at ______.
On school days I use my phone for no more than ______.
During meals and during ______ we don’t use phones.
Before a new app or group chat, I ask ______ for permission first.
I never just share my address, school details, live location or photos of other people.
If something online feels unpleasant or strange, I tell ______.
My parents promise: ______. For example: they listen first when I tell them something, and they put their own phones away at mealtimes too.
We will look at our rules again on ______.
Go through the plan together and make sure everyone agrees. It doesn’t have to be perfect straight away. What matters most is that the rules are clear and that you can adjust them together later.
Making phone rules easier with BUBLE
Good rules matter, but it helps when your child’s chat app supports them too. Otherwise you are constantly checking, reminding and setting things up again.
BUBLE is a chat app for children and their parents, designed to let children communicate more and more independently with family, friends and classmates.
Among other things, the app supports parents with:
Approving contacts. Parents decide who their child can be in touch with, so strangers can’t simply send messages.
Setting screen time. You can set a daily time limit in the app.
Managing features. You choose which features your child may use, such as games, calls and location sharing.
Insight with clear limits. Parents can choose to read along. The child is told about it, and the setting can be changed as the child gets older.
Managing class chats. A teacher can create a class chat, and parents are notified when their child is added.
No ads or tracking. BUBLE has no advertising, no ad tracking and no algorithms designed to keep children watching longer.
That way you don’t have to enforce every rule with words alone. The app can support some of them while your child gradually gains more independence.
BUBLE is available for iPhone and Android.
Frequently asked questions about phone rules for kids
How much screen time is right for my child?
There is no fixed amount of screen time that suits every child. For under-fives, UK government advice is no screens before 2 except shared, interactive moments, and no more than an hour a day from 2 to 5. For older children there are no official hour limits yet: the UK’s Chief Medical Officers advise screen-free meals and phones out of the bedroom at night, and, as of October 2026, new guidance for 5 to 16-year-olds is due in autumn 2026. Above all, watch the balance: is there still enough time for sleep, school, exercise, playing outside and seeing friends in real life?
A clear screen-time rule gives structure and saves you negotiating every day. Check together whether the agreed time is working.
Does the phone really need to stay out of the bedroom at night?
It is a sensible basic rule, for teenagers too. Notifications and conversations can disturb sleep, and the temptation to take a quick look stays strong when the phone is next to the bed.
A fixed charging spot outside the bedroom makes the rule easy. If needed, your child can still be reachable through another phone.
Is it OK to check my child’s phone?
With young children, guidance is part of using a phone. As your child gets older, it is important to respect their privacy and independence gradually.
Be open about what you check and why. Secretly looking can damage trust, and that trust is exactly what you need if you want your child to tell you when something goes wrong online.
What if other parents are much more relaxed?
Your child will probably tell you at some point that classmates are allowed more. Listen to what your child wants and explain why your family sets certain limits.
It can also help to talk to other parents. There may be more families who want clear rules. When families broadly follow the same approach, it becomes easier for children to accept.
What age is right for a first phone?
The UK has no official age for a first phone yet; as of October 2026, government guidance due in autumn 2026 may give one. The parent campaign Smartphone Free Childhood asks families to delay a smartphone until 14, and in the Netherlands the government advises 11 or 12. These are guidelines, not obligations. Also consider your child’s independence, why they need a phone and the rules you can agree on together. Starting with a basic phone without internet is an option too.
Read our guide too: What age for WhatsApp? A parent's guide by age
Finally: start with a few clear rules
Using a phone safely does not start with the perfect setting or the strictest parental controls. It starts with rules your child understands, that you keep together and that grow with their age.
Start simple: one fixed place to charge the phone at night, clear limits on screen time, and the promise that your child can always come to you when something goes wrong online.
Build from there. Because in the end you don’t just want your child to follow the phone rules. You want them to learn to use the digital world safely and sensibly, even when you are not watching.
Sources (checked October 2026): UK government, “Growing up in the online world”, government response, July 2026 (gov.uk/growing-up-online); Department for Education and Department of Health and Social Care, screen time advice for under-fives, 27 March 2026 (beststartinlife.gov.uk) and announcement of guidance for 5 to 16-year-olds, 8 June 2026; Department for Education, “Mobile phones in schools”, statutory from 29 June 2026; UK Chief Medical Officers, commentary on screen time and social media, February 2019; Ofcom, Protection of Children Codes under the Online Safety Act, in force 25 July 2025; Dutch government letter on the guideline for healthy screen and social-media use, 17 June 2025 (tweedekamer.nl, 2025D28256); European Commission, KIDS Act proposal, 17 September 2026; Department of Education and Youth (Ireland), Circular 0045/2025; US Surgeon General, Advisory on Social Media and Youth Mental Health, May 2023; Smartphone Free Childhood (smartphonefreechildhood.org); Childline (childline.org.uk); Child Helpline International, 116 111; Take It Down, NCMEC (takeitdown.ncmec.org).
Credits
Photo by Helena Lopes: https://www.pexels.com/nl-nl/foto/moeder-creeert-een-band-met-haar-kinderen-terwijl-ze-haar-smartphone-gebruikt-27176497/
Photo by Emily Palmer: https://www.pexels.com/nl-nl/foto/schattige-baby-doet-alsof-hij-zij-buiten-aan-het-praten-is-via-de-smartphone-39808375/